Jan 8, 2007

Monday, January 08, 2007

Oh my gosh...freaking out

Well, at least I was freaking out on Saturday afternoon in Mexico Viejo after we'd just paid a year upfront on our storage unit. Josh and I were talking about whether or not we should rent the house that the New Zealand Rotarians had sent us pictures of with a tenancy agreement (unsolicited). Somewhere between the rice and beans and my cheese enchilada, I just bursted out crying. Man, was that unexpected. Where did that come from? Just the stress of trying to pick the right place to live?

The storage unit we got seems really good. After the horrible customer service at the Springdale U-haul, this place (Allied Storage on 15th street) seems like a gem. When we first showed up at the place last Thursday night after closing, one of the workers, Ramona, talked to me about their product before she got into her car to go home...that's service. We stopped by on Saturday and she gave us a tour of the facility (sat on Josh's lap in the golf cart=dangerous). The climate controlled 10x15 unit had more than enough space, so we took it. One year (with a 10% discount for paying upfront) was $970.00.

I'd been feeling sad about the move. Not sad in a I-don't-think-we-should-go way. More just sad about leaving. Like after having dinner with my mom on Wednesday night at AQ chicken (gross). I laid in bed later that night sad and crying thinking, "even a lifetime" with my mom would never be enough.

We went to church on Sunday and the message was that you can't really plan your life. You should let God plan it and be okay with things. That was a good message for me to hear and I've felt a little better since yesterday. In the big picture, it's not like moving into a small house that I don't really find aesthetically pleasing is that big of a deal in the scheme of life.

For crying out loud, my brother goes to WAR in Afghanistan within the week (an undetermined departure date). We talked for 45 minutes tonight-quite unusual. He is really quite smart and upfront about the whole going to war thing. He doesn't want to go and he doesn't believe in the reasons why we are at war. That must be a tough position. He doesn't want to kill anyone and he doesn't want to die.

He said that going to war is like a curse. He knows he has to go and sometimes in the last few weeks it would just hit him. He hopes to be on the airbase with more facilities: Bagram rather than in Khandihar. I told him I hoped so too since I'd never heard of Bagram that must be a good thing. See: http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/world/afghanistan/bagram.htm

I told Gregory to do like in Forest Gump and "Don't do anything stupid like getting yourself killed" and if he gets into trouble to just run. I don't think he would do that though. He knows this will be the worst time in his life. He knows he will be depressed. He doesn't need a lot but what he wants (good food, good bed, his girl) he will not have. Puts moving to another country for a scholarship into perspective...

We're getting packed up pretty well. The main priority for Josh has been his dissertation. I did have a slight panic attack a couple of weeks ago reading an email in which Josh proposed a date for his dissertation defense. That was too real and I almost couldn't breathe. Now the day is set for two weeks from now on Monday, January 22. Amazing. By then, Josh will have already presented the findings to the Little Rock School District so essentially the defense will be a redo. Josh doesn't seem too worked up over the dissertation defense but rather making sure the dissertation itself is finished and is good. I've done my part in proofing.

I've also been onto the housing situation in Palmerston North. I thought we were going to score a 3 bedroom partially furnished house for $250 NZD/week but the deal fell through before the Rotarians were able to take a gander at it (this when even Josh had just suggested going for it without anyone checking it out-uncharacteristic on his part).

Anyway, it's gone and there's not much partially or fully furnished available in our price range. So, we're attempting to score on the 2 bedroom 1 bath Rotary find for only $200/week. Definitely not an ideal home but a place to start out at least. It's already provided Josh and I with lots of laughs as the dryer is on the back porch and the interior painting and furniture is just completely off.

On the job front, I have 6 days left here at home. I've been looking online and some positions seem interesting (local schools). However, for whatever reason I'm not worried about the job aspect of the move at this point. I was seriously freaking about the move itself (and the flights, of course) but the job thing doesn't seem like a big deal to me. I want to have a job (avoid boredom and make some extra travel money) but I'm not sweating at least this one thing.

Good news on the car front. We should receive a check for about $8000! More than the $5000 I thought they'd offer. The car cost around $15,000 6 years ago so we seem to be coming out on top as best as can be. We will need to continue to rent a car or drive my mom/dad's. I'm going to talk with mom tonight about that possibility.

Sad times around these parts but all is as is to be expected. Josh says he doesn't feel too much about the move at this point other than he would FINALLY like to get there. We've talked about it soooo long it's time to make it a reality. He also has so many immediate issues with work and school that he can't really focus on his feelings about the move although we are now amazingly about 2.5 weeks out-YIKES! Someone from the newspaper even called Josh about the scholarship today and Josh had to tell him he couldn't be interviewed until Friday afternoon because he is so busy...funny but true.